"And I'll be shooting for my own hand." 

Have you seen the Disney/Pixar movie Brave? It came out last summer, on my birthday to boot, and I knew from the first trailer that I was going to love Disney's next princess installment. You see, Merida, the "Brave Princess", isn't like the normal Princesses that grace the cover of anything from backpacks to fruit gummies. Why, you ask. Well, here's a brief synopsis of her movie to set the stage for my blog post today.
Merida is the princess of Scotland-well, I guess that's what she is though the specifics of Scotish monarchy aren't really necessary to make my point- and her mother is trying to raise her to be everything a princess is supposed to be: elegant, refine, poised. Merida, however, is more concern with riding her horse and shooting her bow, very un-princess like things. 
 The leaders of the other clans come to her castle to offer up their sons as future husbands to this very un-princess like princess. (The part where Merida literally sits up and takes notice of what could possible be considered as the animated representation of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson reminds me so much of myself.) Unfortunately, the sons are less than to be desirable in Merida's eyes, but her husband is to be determined from these young men in the Highland games. As fate would have it, Merida get's to choose the game that will determine her marital fate- she chooses archery. The day of the competition arrives and each prospect tries to win themselves a princess, showing their true character in the process. Now, here's my favorite part. Merida, not keen on letting her fate be determined by a hitting a mark, strolls out on the field, rips apart her dress her mother had her laced up in (this was problem allegorical to breaking the bondage of women or something like that),  lets down her wicked red, curly hair that I am so jealous about and, in pure Scottish accen, yells, "I am Merida and I'll be shooting for my own hand."
That line literally sends chills up my spine. This is a girl that took control of her on destiny. This is a girl that wouldn't rely on a man to make her happy or feel wanted. This is the type of girl, I believe, we need more today. 
I am not a feminism, by no means. I prefer my bras unburnt. But, I greatly admire Merida and  her strength. Women do not need men to determine their self worth. This is a concept that I have tried to instill and myself and I think, over the pass few years, I have finally done that. I think that so many girls/women have one goal in life today- and that is to get married whether they have found "the one" or not. I think sometimes it's just because the think that they have to get married---like it some obligation that they have to fill. I had a friend who I thought, at times, only wanted to get married because all of her friends were married and so that she could move out of her parents house. Hey, I would get married for the latter reason. But that is not the way to look at marriage. 
Okay, I actually wasn't planning on getting on the marriage soapbox. My initial thoughts on this movie were far from that. I like Merida because she takes control of her own destiny. One of my own personal mottos is "Sometimes, you just have to do it yourself." Now, I know that it seems cynical, but it as applied to so many aspects in my life. You can always rely on others to do everything for you or for things to just happen on there own. Guess what? It doesn't  happen like that. If you want something, go out and get it. Don't wait on someone else to do it for you. 
I have always wanted to be a mother. When I was in Kindergarten and the teacher asked us to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up, I always drew myself as a mommy. Skip a decade ahead and my fifteen year old self was certain by the age that  am now that I would be married and be ready to have my first child. Has life worked out like that? Absolutely not. And, though I do want to get married and desperately want a child there is one think that I know for certain, that my future of being a wife is NOT certain. No, this isn't me looking for pity or reassurance or simply wanting attention. This is the truth. I may not ever get married, but that shouldn't stop me from being a mother if I want to be one. Now, before heart attacks are had, no I'm not planning to get myself knocked- up. But, I am seriously considering adoption. 
This is the type of independence that young women need to have. The first college that I attended had a running joke about the young women that would attend there- "Oh, she's just here to get her degree in M.R.S." Really, that's a joke because I thing that it is a horrible notion. "I'm only here to find someone to take care of me and I have no aspirations to make anything of my life" - that's probably a gross over exaggeration of it but that is what I hear. What, I ask then, is the back up plan if you don't get married? Or your husband dies or, worse, leaves you? Your degree in M.R.S. won't get you anywhere then. That's why I want to encourage all young women to go to college, get a degree, rent an apartment or buy a house, pay bills and learn how to budget yourself. Become self sufficient in some way (I can't ever say that I have done all of those things) before you join your life with another. Follow in the words of Destiny's Child and be Miss Independent. It's okay if you are, no one will look down on you or pity you unless you let them. Be confident. We can be anything we want to be, in society that is. We can be doctors, lawyers, politicians, coaches, engineers, web designers, business owners, hey- we can be superheroes. I implore you to never tie your self worth to your relationship status like I have. You are defined as the individual that you are. Be strong like Merida, shoot for your own hand until you find someone worthy enough to shoot for it.