Love 'Em, but Don't Date 'Em.

A few weeks ago, I decided to go through my 'Random' Pinterest to rediscover all of the funny things I have pinned over the past two years. During this exploration, I cam across a blog post title: "Fictional Boys We All Want to Date Who Would Make Awful Boyfriends." I don't know about you, but we you see a title like that, you have to stop and read. And that's just what I did. Being a fan girl, I have fictional relationships with many fictional characters, my most notable relationships being with Nathan Scott, Emmett Cullen and the-Boy-Who-Lived himself, Harry Potter. As much as I have enjoyed my fictional relationships, I have never stepped back and examined to see if they were good boyfriend material or not. So, as I was rereading it I thought to myself, "Hey, I should make a list of my own." So, that's what I am doing. I have examined all of my favorite fandoms and created my own list of the men we all want but who are probably not boyfriend material. 

I know that you are all on pins and needles waiting for this life altering list so here it is:

Catherine's List of Fictional Hotties Who Would Make Bad Boyfriends:

1. Sherlock Holmes. Yes, the Baker Street resident is the first hottie but a boyfriend nottie on the list. If you haven't watch the brilliant BBC series Sherlock, then I am half tempted to tell you to stop reading this right now and go watch- it's amazing. Each episode of an hour and a half of twist, turns and witty banter. And, if you are anything like me, you slowly fall into love with the lead character's brain, wit and cheekiness. He's like British bad boy in a trench coat. So, why does this crime solving genius make the list? Well- he's kinda a cocky jerk. Sherlock knows he smart and often rubs that face in others faces. He is always so attentive to detail, the thing that makes him a genius detective, but sometimes his little 'talent' enables him to point out truths in people they were trying to hide- which usually embarrassed them. (See season 2, episode 1) Maybe he had the Sheldon complex and is oblivious to what he does and how it can hurts others, but-for the times being- Sherlock should be carefully admired from a far, where you are safe from his all observing eye and his filter less mouth. 
2. Captain America. "The gasp heard around the worlds", that's what they should call the scene in the recent blockbuster when little Steve Rodgers steps out of the greatest machine ever created, ever and every women's mouth drops at the sheer sexiness that is Captain America. He is the America dream. He beautiful, build like a Greek god and wears a military uniform like it was designed especially for him. Then, on top of the physical, he's a good guy- the guy that would hold the door for you, and bring you flowers, politely walk you do the door after every date and only give you a kiss on the cheek and not try to test you boundaries. He would be the type of boy that every girl's mother and father would want her to date. So, why does he make this list. Well, the little serum that transformed little Steve Rogers into a strapping young man also messed with his genetics and how his ages- or lack there of. Dating a none aging man just doesn't sound fun to me. You would get old, everything would start to sag and drupe and he would still look every Abercrombie model rolled up into one. Not the type of lasting relationship a girl wants, is it? Therefore, the captain makes this list.
3. And onto another captain, Captain Jack Sparrow. Who doesn't love this good guy/ bad guy scallywag pirate? One, he's play by the undeniably dersirable Johnny Depp, the only man on this planet that can make manliner sexy. It's a fact, jack! Then, he wears those sexy pirate clothes and carries a manly sword and you are in love. If you know the movies, then it might be kinda obvious why he's definitely not boyfriend material. However, it this is not the case- then I'm here to break it down for you. Despite his sexiness and sword, he is a pirate and pirates are notoriously bad boyfriends. He's always running around the opening seas, stealing to boot, and them stopping into Tortuga to meet up with Gisette and Victoria, probably on the same night. Pirates don't follow laws- their pirates- and I down that he would follow the laws of boyfriend as well. 
4. Edward Cullen. Like most girls, I fell in love with he mysterious vampire in Forks, Washington. Though I did eventually reassign my romantic ties to his gorgeous, buff older adoptive brother, I was "irrevocably" in love with the copper headed child of the night. He was handsome, mysterious, musical and romantic. What more could a seventeen year old girl want? Well, good ole Ed may not be the best boyfriend material. Now- before you get your pitch forks and burn me at the stake, hear me out. According to Pinterest, Edward and Bella's relationship meets many of the qualifications of an abusive relationship. Personally, I don't know if that is true or not- but let's face it, their relationship is a little odd. First, he comes into her bedroom and watches her sleep. Umm...creepy. Maybe this would be romantic if I slept like a perfect angel at night, but considering I kick, drool and do who knows what else after the Sandmand visits, I really would want some boy watching me. Also, he makes everything so serious. Yes, their is a little more flirting and fun in the books- but if you have ever seen the movies you would have to agree that boytoy needs to take a chill pill. Goodness! Some girls might like that time of serious at all time, but it would drive me crazy. 
5. Thor. Yes, the Norse god of thunder comic book sensation also makes this list. Most of us females have limited our exposure to the blockbuster movie that came out a few years ago.(The sequel is coming out this fall- hallelujah) And in the movies, the blessed superhero is played by the one and only Chris Hemsworth and his holy biceps of happiness. Seriously? Have you seen those puppies? They are bigger than my face! And though he needs to lose the pride and gain some humility in the movie, he still has the charming princes personality that this girl loves. So, why does he make this list. A relationship with Thor would be the ultimate long distant relationship. I mean, the boy lives in an entirely different world where phone calls and FaceTime our out of the question. As much as I want to be cuddle in those huge arms and held against to that strong, hard chest- those embraces would come few and far in between- unfortunately. 
6. Sirus Black. Of all of the mauders, I could probably say that he is the one with the most fan girl following. From the descriptions in the book of their glory days, you imagine a man of good boy, rebel sexiness. (I mean, he was in Gryfinndor and his family was strictly Slytherin- and that didn't sit too well with good ole Mr. and Mrs.) He was a jokerster, loyal and willing to fight and die for a cause- he was like the Josh Hartnett in Pearl Harbor equivalent in the wizarding wars. (Okay, that might be a bad analogy but he's the only hot war guy I can think of off the top of my head) So, why does Mr. Black make the list. Well- first, he has that whole murder charge places upon his sexy head. Now, we all know that he didn't actually do if (and if you didn't, spoiler alert) but his twelve year stay in Azkaban makes him a less than desirable boyfriend. And then, when he does finally get out- he spends his time running from the law, usually as a black dog, and still not desirable for a relationship. As much as we all love Sirus, and we do, being with the sexy sorcerer isn't going to happen- unless its back in his Hogwart's days. 
7. Doctor Who. *ducks to avoid flying objects* Good people of blogger, listen to me. Yes, we all love the Doctor and we all, despite our best attempts to not be charmed by his charm and wit, fall under his spell. Ladies, we have to face it- if would make a terrible boyfriend. Even if you were his companion for a considerate amount of time- no amount could replace the fact that he loves Rose and River. And if we could, would he really be around for the long haul? The poor Doctor's tract record with women isn't the best. Rose has gone to a separate dimension with a human 10th Doctor. Martha loved the doctor but never earned his love in return. And River is, according to the last episode of this past season, dead. But even she, his own wife, spent her year filtering in and out of time, never really being able to be with the one he loves because they were moving in two different directions. A relationship with the Doctor just wouldn't work. Now, we can all cry together. 
8. Han Solo. Who doesn't love the Star Wars bad boy perfectly played by Harrison Ford. I mean, have you seen him in that costume with his little boots, pants (including gun holster) and fluffy 70's hair. He was like a galaxy biker who really had a sweet, soft heart. He's the only guy who can respond to a declaration of love with "I know" and it was totally hot. If any other guy did that, they girl would end up in tears and the guy might get slapped.  But he owns it. So why is he on this list? Well, though he is tall, dark and handsome- he's also a bootlegging, sometimes cocky, can be jerk with a huge bounty on his head. Not exactly what you want in a relationship. Then, he spends an unknown number of months frozen in carbonite- so I'm sure that would put a damper on the relationship. Maybe,eventually, he would be good enough for a true, committed relationship- but during the rebel wars, it's better to just stay away. 

So, what do you think of my list? Who would you add and/or delete?

Love and happiness to all.
-Catherine